Homework

[MustarkMast3rz]

Can someone check my English homework its in attachment
I want a second opinion PLEASE
THANKS YOU

is it or

[Stxyzth]

Use it if you want but I've passed English and finished school so I improved it a little bit. Like I said use it if you want.


I improved some sentences and basically did a little clean up of some things. I noticed you got 'where' mixed up with 'were'. Anyway I liked it, good luck with the rest of it.

Also if you plan to give this into school I would suggest not using custom fonts, use Times New Roman since teachers mark over 100 of these and when they struggle to read one it hurts your grade. At the end I put '...' rather than TO BE CONTINUED, in my opinion much better.

Code: Select all

When I took you into my home that terrible day, I saw how you mastered every skill that I have tought you as if you were the one who had created them. But soon your skills will be strained, soon it will be time to face your dark side. Kratos, "I am proud to call you my son", these were the last words spoken by Kratos's master. At the time these words were being spoken Kratos was beside a waterfall not far from the dojo, meditating, when suddenly he heard the scream of his master. Thisinstantly made Krato open his eyes and he felt a spiky shiver crawl down his back. He shouted "MASTER!", and he ran straight to the dojo. It was too late. When he got there he saw his master lying on the floor dripping in blood, but as he looked up from the death place of his master he saw symbols carved in blood, made as if the murderer dragged the victim across the walls and then carelessly dropping him when he had finished.

He walked up to the symbols furiously; you could see it in his eyes it was like a flame had been switched on within him. He saw that the symbols where the ones of the 4 gods. God of land, god of the seas, god of the skies and the god of all. He swore that he would slay them all.

He walked out of the dojo and all the animals made a path for him as he took each step, when he got to the end of that path a phoenix and a small animal were waiting for him. Kratos was astounded on how these creatures looked. They spoke to him.  the small creature was the first to speak up "hello master, you are the new master we were your masters creation now we belong to you. My name is Katsuma". Kratos was traumatized he wondered to himself am I dreaming, but then the phoenix spoke "hello master I do not have a name, but I wish to be your loyal servant". Sudenly a tornado approached, it roared "YOU WISH TO CHALLANGE ME, I AM A GOD WHERE AS YOU ARE A MERE MORTAL. I AM THE GOD OF LAND". Then the tornado formed to be a big figure that was a dark green such like the leaves on the trees and in its hand it heald a sword no ordinary sword, but the heavenly sword this was the one that can slaughter the god in one long swipe. Kratos's eyes illuminated with a flame as he ran towards the god in rage but the god blow him back like you would to a fly that suddenly flew into your view. He charged again this time jumping over the gust of wind and reaching for the sword. He manages to grab the handle and he pulled it out and took a swing at the god unknowingly, when he did this he closed his eyes in hope and when he opened them again he saw the god lying there on the floor. Dead...

[MustarkMast3rz]

Cool thats
btw what school did you go to stx

[MustarkMast3rz]

i go denbighHighSchool

[Stxyzth]

Hmm not heard about that one but I went to SamuelWhitbread (Engineering specialist school)

[MustarkMast3rz]

my school is a sports collage
http://www.denbighhigh.luton.sch.uk/pages/home.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[MustarkMast3rz]

got awarded school of the year 2009

[Lenniguti7]

I did go to this school:

http://www.berliner-eckkneipe.de/img/kneipe3.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I can really say I passed all my subjects and I became a really wise citizen. I do advise you all to go to that school it is way better then the normal ones.

[HeinzPeter]

mmmhh, Frikadellen

[MustarkMast3rz]

your school was a bar okkkk
lol